Night Terrors (Sarah Beauhall Book 4) Read online

  Nidhogg reached across the table and placed a hand on mine, giving it a bony squeeze before laughing aloud. “This one would likely prefer my bed to yours,” she said, winking at me. “Though as I understand it her heart beats for another.”

  “Damn her heart,” Frederick grumbled. “She can love whom she pleases as long as she pleases me.”

  My chair scraped along the floor as I came to my feet, leaning across the table, prepared to punch the pompous pig in the face. The fire in him be damned. By the time he shifted, I could be out of the restaurant and have Gram in my hands. He’d find me more than he could handle.

  BAM! I jerked back as Nidhogg brought her cane down on the table lengthwise, startling us all and scattering the dishes.

  “I rule here,” she spat, poking a bony finger into Frederick’s chest. “And you survive due to my grace, and the strength and courage of this young woman and her clan.”

  I sat back down, taking deep breaths, listening to She Who Must Be Obeyed defending me.

  “This is not a debate. I am granting this woman my protection and my seal,” she took off a ring from her left hand and pushed it across the table at me.

  I stared at it, shocked. I recalled that symbol from a dream I’d had a year ago, a dream where we had been branded by Nidhogg to prove that we were her chattel.

  “Take it,” Qindra urged.

  I looked up from the ring and the memories. Nidhogg looked at me with an air of maternal patience. Frederick had gone pale.

  I reached out and closed my hand on the ring. It was warm to the touch, warm from where it has rested on her hand for as long as I’d known her.

  “It is done,” Nidhogg said with a satisfying nod. “Sarah Jane Beauhall, I grant you rank and privilege in my domain equal to Qindra. While she is the mouth of She Who Must Be Obeyed—”

  A shock wave careened around the room. There was power here, magic of an ancient form. The runes on my forehead flared to life and everything and everyone in the room shifted to clearer focus.

  “You—from this moment forward—shall be my Fist.”

  Silence filled the room. I don’t believe anyone breathed for a full thirty seconds. Mr. Philips swallowed loudly and pushed his chair back from the table. Frederick’s face was difficult to read—mainly shock, and maybe a little horror.

  Qindra’s was a mixture of shock and pleasure.

  I nodded, and Nidhogg turned back to Frederick.

  “So shall it be,” she intoned, leaning forward toward Frederick.

  There was an air of expectancy in the room. A calm before the clap of thunder.

  “So shall it be,” he replied, his voice dry as a grave.

  A bell sounded, deep and sonorous, three deep strikes before fading into oblivion. No one outside the room heard those ringing notes, however. I’d bet my life on it. This was magic deeper and older than anything I’d ever encountered.

  Nidhogg clapped her hands twice, and a smattering of waiters came into the room and began clearing away the remains of our meal.

  I pushed my chair back, my head spinning. I gripped the signet ring in my right hand and watched Frederick. He leaned in and began talking with Nidhogg in hushed whispers. Mr. Philips stepped away giving his master space, and the waiters left, leaving the two of them huddled across a cleared table.

  Qindra walked over to me, pulled me up into a hug, and stood back, looking into my face.

  “We’ll have to talk,” she said, smiling. “This is a game changer.”

  Qindra and Mr. Philips walked me to my car. Qindra hugged me, promising we’d meet soon to go over what the hell had just happened and let me ask questions. Mr. Philips waited until Qindra walked back to stand by the door to the restaurant, waiting for him before speaking.

  “Ms. Beauhall,” he began, his face as flat and expressionless as I’d ever seen on a human being. “Mr. Sawyer will be in touch about the particulars for your situation as it pertains to his territories. Please contact me if you have questions or if we may be of service to you in any manner.”

  He held out a business card which I took and slipped into my jeans pocket.

  “Your boss is a very strange individual,” I said.

  He looked at me, considering his words. “I am aware that his actions are not what one would expect of a person of his position, but let us be perfectly clear, Ms. Beauhall. He is not a person. Not a human such as you or I. He is greater than that, greater than most in this world we find ourselves in.”

  “Grander and more beautiful?” I asked, catching his vibe.

  “Immeasurably so,” he agreed. “There is such compassion and glory within him that they overwhelm any sin he may commit.”

  He believed it, would follow the dragon into the very fires of hell, I had no doubt. Too bad, truly. For while Frederick had shown great moments of loyalty and bravery, he was vain and self-serving. He did not deserve the love and loyalty of Mr. Philips. Sawyer’s wrath was awe inspiring, and in the end he took what he wanted and believed he was above the rest of us.

  As much as the thought pained me, I had a fifty-fifty chance, as things stood, that I’d be hunting him down one day. Made me sad a little. Made me think of JJ, honestly. There had been good in him after all. Maybe Sawyer was evolving in his own way.

  “Call if you require any assistance,” Mr. Philips said. He turned and walked back into the restaurant.

  Qindra looked back at me, her hand on the door and paused as I strode toward her.

  “Tell her,” I called to Qindra. “My people are safe, not to be touched.”

  She looked at me curiously, as I closed the distance between us, so we wouldn’t have to shout. “Which ones are your people? Black Briar, the women at Circle Q, the fine folk at Flight Test?”

  “Yes,” I said. “All of them. They are my clan. They have my protection.” When she didn’t say anything else, I pressed on. “And I don’t do anything I find morally reprehensible, and I don’t kill the innocent. I’ll be her Fist, but I will not become Jean-Paul. I will not commit atrocities.”

  She studied me for a moment and nodded. “I told her you’d say as much.” She smiled. “She said those are the reasons she has chosen you. She does not need a hired killer, Sarah. She can make people disappear with a whim. No, she needs someone who is strong, who sees the world in a certain way.” She paused, collecting her thoughts.

  “She says the wheel has been broken too long, Sarah. She believes it is within your power to set that to right.”

  Lightning flashed in my mind. The old man, Joe or Odin, had told me the same. The wheel, always the wheel.

  “Fair enough.”

  She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. “We are sisters now, you and I. There is much we need to discuss.”

  And she turned, walking toward the restaurant.

  “And my family,” I called after her.

  She paused, looking back.

  “My mother, father, and sister,” I said.

  She nodded and went in the restaurant.

  “Maybe some more people,” I mumbled. “I’ll get back to you.”

  I stood in the fading light, thinking about the totally psychotic world I found myself a part of. I just wish I could talk about all this to Katie. She’d help me sort through it all.

  And why not? She may be in a coma but I could still talk to her. Maybe she’d hear me. It was a possibility, and it sure beat crying myself to sleep later.

  I drove out to the hospital and sat with her, listening to the machines and the monitors and spoke to her in hushed whispers.

  “You are not going to believe this,” I began, toying with the ring. “No chance at all.”

  Nineteen

  I was thinking that Qindra’s trip to the hospital had helped Katie, but I had no real proof. As it was, she was stable enough to be moved to a private room. It was nice to have a place without all the chaos of the ICU. This way, we could settle into a normal routine, for what it was worth.

  I stayed out at Cir
cle Q most nights, giving Jai Li as much attention as I could. I even brought her to the hospital a couple of days a week to see all the stuff going on. She was pretty insistent—made sure there were plenty of pretty pictures in Katie’s room so she’d know she was loved. Then, she would sit and wait, doing embroidery or more drawing. She had the most patience of any kid I’d ever known. Had to do with all that time at Nidhogg’s knee, I’m sure.

  The hospital staff loved Jai Li. She drew pictures of each of them as they appeared. Her drawings started showing up at the nurse’s station. The staff was amazed at the girl’s talent, as I’d come to expect. Jai Li didn’t want for attention or treats.

  Some days she stayed out at Black Briar playing with my kobold buddy Bub and the troll twins—Frick and Frack. On those days, the staff was visibly and verbally disappointed. That girl had a way of getting under your skin.

  Basically we all put our lives on hold. Even Flight Test was on hiatus while Carl and Jennifer tried to figure out what to do about the movie. JJ’s death was hard on everyone, but they had an obligation to keep the business running. They agreed to hold a wake out at the studio for the crew and any family that wanted to come. Apparently, JJ’s parents were coming back up from Portland, and Wendy would have her parents there as well.

  Clyde texted me daily with updates on Wendy. He had begun to think of her and JJ like his own kids. The poor guy was devastated.

  Skella visited us every day, either at Circle Q or the hospital. Frequently she talked about the Bellingham kids. She was hanging out with them more and more, pretending to be normal. She couldn’t just step into a mirror with them around or anything, so it put a crimp into her mirror taxi services. I was just thrilled she’d found friends outside her own community. They had always been an insular bunch, and with Gletts in a coma himself, she’d been lost.

  Between the hospital where Katie was improving, if not actually conscious, emergency meetings with Carl and Jennifer on movie matters, smithing and Jai Li—May slid into June in a haze of unexpected laughter, crazed boredom, and never ending pain.

  Julie picked up more and more of my share of the farrier work without me even asking. It made me happy to see her growing stronger—finding her way back to her old life. Mary and Edith were also great, mothering Jai Li and me like we were their own. I guess that’s the lesson I was learning. Our capacity to love and envelope others into our circles of protection had no real limits. I don’t know how I would have made it through without them.

  The whole time I carried that damned book in Katie’s purse. Jimmy asked me why I suddenly decided to carry a purse, smirking. Deidre told him it was Katie’s purse and that he should just let it go. For a moment he looked at me with an odd expression, then he hugged me. He didn’t mention the purse again.

  I didn’t mention the book.

  During the days I tried all I knew. I held Gram, searching for answers, cut myself and smeared the blood over the runes on my body, looking for a flash of understanding. I talked with Bub and Anezka, Gunther, Stuart, Trisha, Jimmy, and Deidre. Consulted our doctor friend, Melanie, and even called Rolph, thinking the dwarves may know something. Skella spoke with her grandmother, who only sighed and offered her sympathy. Gletts was in the same state.

  I spent long hours in Nidhogg’s company with and without Qindra, then hours with Qindra alone.

  I even asked Jai Li to draw pictures of Katie awake, just so I didn’t leave any options uncovered.

  Nothing worked. No one had answers I didn’t already have. And all the time the book remained a cipher. Twice I reached into the purse to remove it, and both times I withdrew. The magic there caused my runes to light up, and not in a good way. I was missing something here, and I couldn’t figure it out. To be totally honest, the book scared the crap out of me. I was half-afraid that if I handled it, whatever happened to JJ would happen to Katie.

  In the dark of night, as Jai Li slept at my side, I would lay and stare into the blackness and begin to imagine what would happen if Katie didn’t come back to me. I’d never felt so desperate in my entire life.

  Sometimes, when Jai Li was too wound up to sleep, we’d sit up alone in the kitchen at Circle Q and have cocoa and cookies, just like ma used to do with me when I couldn’t sleep.

  There was more than one deep night cookie session where I’d pull my cell phone out and call up their number. I know they’d be asleep, but I thought if I could hear ma’s voice for just a minute, that I could find a bit of peace.

  Then I’d look over at Jai Li and wonder how I’d ever merge my new family in with my old. Felt like an either/or choice that I couldn’t find a way to resolve.

  In the light of day, I let the old habits take over, and calling home lost its luster. Still, I needed to do something. I wasn’t going to be any good to anyone, including Jai Li before too long.

  Then, one night, as I was hovering in that between space where you begin to dream, but know you’re dreaming, I felt her. Katie was there, somewhere in the ether. It was the first breakthrough in weeks and weeks. She said my name, like a prayer, and I sat bolt upright, expecting to see her standing before me.

  But I was at Circle Q. Jai Li was asleep at my side, and the house was quiet. Katie was not here.

  Eventually I tried to go back to sleep, straining to hear her voice again. The morning came too early and too bright. I don’t think I’d slept more than ten minutes at a time. I kept waking myself up, trying to keep that fugue state. Jai Li knew something was going on, though and tried to let me sleep in. I must’ve dozed a little, but by the time I got up and staggered into the kitchen, the whole house was alert, drinking coffee or juice and watching me like I was going to sprout a second head.

  I told them about hearing Katie calling me. They watched me, each of them keeping her thoughts to herself. It was damned frustrating.

  Finally, Julie piped up. “Wishful thinking,” she said, patting me on the shoulder.

  Jai Li smiled and made the sign for hope in that optimistic way kids have. Soon she and Edith were spinning a tale of daring rescue and Katie waking to my kiss. That morning I had a modicum of sanity, a few moments of light.

  Mary hugged me and told me to go kiss Katie again, just to be sure. It was all very sweet. Of course, they damn near drove me nuts. Platitudes were awesome and all, but I needed expertise.

  So, I called Qindra. We met for lunch over in Bellevue. For her to make the long trek over the water spoke volumes about her concern for me. I was a little oblivious to most of it, however. While she agreed there was a possibility I truly heard Katie calling me, she doubted it was anything but wishful thinking. Made me consider that Julie and Qindra were talking behind my back. Not that far-fetched.

  “There is more to the world than I know about, sister, mine,” Qindra said over her Caesar salad. “Things the wisest only hint at and fools embrace with conviction.” She took my hands when she was telling me this, as if to lessen the pain. “Only you know the truth of it.”

  Great, that wasn’t ambiguous or anything. I thanked her and went back to Circle Q more depressed than I’d been. Was I losing my mind here?

  Twenty

  I took to half-sleeping more and more, so I could search for Katie in that between-space where the conscious mind slips into the deep waters of the great unconsciousness. I knew this term from a poetry teacher I had back in college. She believed that we as a species were all connected in this great underground sea of thought and dreams. It was this place where ideas were germinated and shared; how the same ideas could emerge in the world on different continents at the same time, even back before the creation of high-speed travel.

  So I went diving into that metaphorical warm underground lake hoping to find a hint of Katie; another moment where her voice called out to me. It was frustrating at first, just hoping beyond hope that I’d find her in a fictional ocean where billions of other minds mingled and coalesced.

  This went on for days. I stopped working, stopped doing much of anything re
ally. I only ate when Julie and them forced me to. There were points where I know I was hallucinating, and Jai Li would wake me up. Eventually she started sleeping in Edith’s room. One morning she refused to hug me, told me she was scared. That almost did me in. Seeing the look on that little girl’s face was almost enough. But I loved Katie more, and I would sacrifice anything to get her back.

  I even had a moment of guilt. I’d taken this child in, promised to be a mother to her, to raise her, keep her safe. But without Katie, with this unknown hanging over my head, I wasn’t good for anyone.

  Melanie started talking about depression, and Julie told me if I didn’t get my shit together she was going to drag me to therapy if she had to hogtie me. Funny, I believed her. But I had to keep trying.

  It was Edith who had the right of it in the end. She was cleaning the house, going through things, dusting and making order of the general chaos five of us had wreaked on the house since Jai Li and I had taken up residence. No one complained, but I could tell we were straining things to their limits. It was inevitable at some point. And I knew it wasn’t even Jai Li. It was me.

  They were watching me, pacing me, conspiring against me. I wasn’t exactly paranoid or anything, but when you see people whispering, heads together, then they separate and dodge into different rooms when you show up, it makes you wonder.

  Of course, it could also be I was losing my shit. Yeah, that was happening.

  It was the middle of the afternoon and I was once again hiding in our room out at Circle Q. We’d had three days in a row of overcast, and I had blankets jury-rigged up over the windows to block out what weak light we were getting. I had the light out and was thinking, wandering in my mind with only the glow of Gram to cut the absolute blackness of the room. Apparently I had been singing something nonsensical loud enough to be heard in the hallway. I honestly have no idea what I was singing, something about apples and pain, I think. I’m pretty fuzzy on the details. As I said, I was searching for ideas, thinking about Katie and letting my mind wander where it wanted, listening to the roaring in my ears.